on vacation i wrote only one ppf post… the rest of my journal entries are my own. old school pen and paper kinda thoughts. we rested, woke to the sunrise, mimosa-ed the mornings away and let the sand and surf wash away the hurried previous 12 months.
here. it’s long. no food entries but what was on my mind.
it’s beautiful here. cliche. it’s beautiful in my own back yard. but in my own backyard there is a constant tugging and not just in one direction.
establishing boundaries while away in a peaceful, tuggless place… surrounded by the blue shades of the caribbean is not easy. not with so much technology. the soft sounds that begin when the sun sets… as birds settle in to sleep and the tree frogs pick up the serenade, making late night music, the cool breeze on the balcony with a heavy scent of sea air and flowers and in the hush the surf…that’s what makes this beautiful and boundary worthy.
(my mind jump…)
here i race to devour books a day at a time. my diet is craves them the other 50 weeks of the year. finished an alice hoffman and started “love in the time of cholera,” based on the recommendation of an old friend.
this is not a book to be devoured. wish i had bought it on kindle…only for use of the digital dictionary. it’s language is rich and the story is layered…by hurrying through a paragraph you easily lose a year, a story line, a thread that is essential in the creation or development of each character. it’s taken three days to finish this book and now that i am down to the last dozen or so pages i wonder what the author’s intent was or better yet what’s relatable to me… well, in reality it is about how we relate or make something our own.
in the past year, 4 months specifically and personally, i’ve become acutely aware of the constant evolution we go through. the fears that prevent growth and allow for adaptation. i’ll be 40. with the support of an amazing man i’ve thrown caution to the wind and changed the direction of my career. learned that it is not my business card or bank deposits that define me. i’ve taken chances, learned what works and what doesn’t. a silly phrase i saw recently runs through my head… don’t stay where you are tolerated but be where you are celebrated. it’s general and can mean whatever you…now to apply it!
(related jump…)
often we look for the meaning in things—> random life events — hoping to find reassurance we are making the right decisions or approval in the arms of a loved one or the support of a stranger. i think instead of looking deep inside ourselves it’s easy to get lost in the approval of what does not comprise our spirit. creating a measure of success by something that is beyond control…money, opinions, what’s in print, is this what my manager expects, i can’t say no, are you on trend, how many messages do i have, who’s talking about you this week creates a false sense of success.
so… back to change … adapting who we are or what we sell so the message is clear or changing the audience are part of an evolution but during the change i hope my faith and passion will always be true and unchanging.
that’s all
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